Thursday, 13 December 2007


Maybe the 10 images have not failed. Brisley has said that maybe something....I need to look up what he said, can't remember fully.

Maybe the "thing " that I was going to do with the images has failed, and because of that something else will happen with the images. Oh joy :)

back to mashing potatoes.


I've had a play with the slideshow bit.
I've used images from Stage 1. Not looked at them for a while. The pub pictures were part of a "what is a pub" question being followed at the time. They were all taken in one day, all up for rental at a point just before the July 2007 smoking ban. One of the pubs no longer exists. it is believed to have been abducted and taken to Ireland.

bela lagosy is.....

well I'm not too sure how he is.

I'm feeling a little better today. I can see I have a failed piece on my sofa. That'll go in as a failure. I've got some books on reserve to catch up/renew my reading for the formal written bit, that's a struggle, oh well, guess it's part of th experience. Degree level is just that. We all might get in at the same time, do we all go the distance or are there stop off points along the way. Time will tell. As does the little boy with his finger covered in cream.

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

a recent worked image

an image I call "footplay"

I have lots of images of "feet"

I find them interesting within the shoes that they are enclosed in.

what am I left with

I'm left with, oh well I just have to lie to get what I want. Great. It's come to this.

job interview result

I didn't get the job.

any room for honesty ?

I went for a job interview last week. I was honest and open about the skills I had relevant to the position on offer. The two interviewing me were surprised and thanked me for my honesty. If I am successful, I should here by the end of this week.

I reflect about my interview. If I sat there and lied about what I could do, I would have stood a better chance of getting the job and in turn influence the people I would have been helping in the job. They did make it clear to me that because I was honest about what I could do, I was actually unsuitable. It's somewhat sad that the honesty shown was less important that what I send I could do. If I abstract to a wider field of people and stand back, is it any wonder that we now have a society where fairly ineffectual people are in very controlling positions.

I have to now go and do something completley different, if I continue with this study and exposure to people that I do not have the words for, I will start to question why i am alive. At that point, well I'm too scared to think about that. Like I say, I'm off to do something else.

making while sad

trying to make a thing while sad is a mistake. The thing is tainted, not pure. Making from a happy place is pure, beautiful and sustainable.

Making while sad, becomes part of the transience, working through the sadness to a purer state of mind.

realisation through sadness

it takes deep sadness to realise what something means or affects.
To struggle at something is to be expected.
To succeed at something is success, a joy, a high, an up.
How is it that during the process of attempting to succeed that the news of others success in the same struggle is such a draw back, a pull down a saddener.

Eventually the sadness will lead to discourse. The discourse bringing about a reality of careful sharing of news. Unless the the struggle is explored, how else can the discourse take place. To explore means sadness. Sadness is inevitable. Living in sadness is not inevitable as sadness is transitory. Transience of sadness lies within the person of sadness. Accepting that sadness is transitory, being the key to unlocking sadness and making it a transient state.

A result of transitory sadness is happiness. Simply because happiness is an antonym.

Tuesday, 11 December 2007

tuesday 11th December 2007

thoughtful now.

this is so now about me and my reaction to a situation.

The first piece made was fun, enjoyed doing it. Since then been in denial about that medium. Got myself as far as possible away from that. Result-unhappy.

play = happy

doing something because it appears to need to be done like that = unhappy

misunderstanding the process = unhappy

realising something = unsettled

Do I want to be unhappy - no

Do I want to be happy - yes

the only difference in the initial statement is un

the difference after the - is very different - expressed as a maths thing....

am i in possession of un

Streuth I'm in a room with children "one more, one more" Good to know that there are third year fine art students more into online gaming than making their work. Unless their work is about the online gaming. Are they that clever ?

Monday, 10 December 2007

art education

is art education merely based on an indivuidual basis, each student being marked on how they progress.

Thus when students talk to each other, the same tutor will appear to say two different things about the apparent same subject or issue. For those in negative nurture, this is confusing, distracting and difficult to live with.

Monday 10th December-disillusions

Monday the 10th December. Another day in december in a year known as 2007.

Not sure how many people I spoke to, yet the day has left me drained and feeling very low. Doubts in my mind about what I'm doing.

It would appear that if one does stuff that one is really into, the talking about it and being with it is very easy. If one has been nurtured into the world in a way that doing just what you want to do has always been encouraged, then doing what you want to do is very easy. If the nurturing was dismisive and negative, the doing what you want to do is full of self talk doubts.

Ergo, the making of objects just because you can sits well with those that have always been encouraged and supported in activities undertaken. For those that have had to constantly justify themselves the freedom to suddenly do, presents as many problems as opportunities.

Hence the nature of art as elitist, perhaps. A view from a low point of view would make the art presence fell above. Realistically, anybody can make something, just because they want to. Who has the right to question anybody over why they did and oh it's so poor isn't it. That is of course the right of the viewer, to the observed. Those in negative nurture will be affected by the over questioning, as it will trigger the historical negative nurture feelings. As in the human right act, that everybody has the right to family, why doesn't everybody have the right to make art. Where art is simply something made because you can.

Those in negative nurture will need some positive nurture to even things up. Those beginning in positive nurture will benefit greatly from the extra positive nurture. The really beautiful people will be able to use the extra positive nurture to help those in catch up nurture position.