Monday 10th December-disillusions

Monday the 10th December. Another day in december in a year known as 2007.

Not sure how many people I spoke to, yet the day has left me drained and feeling very low. Doubts in my mind about what I'm doing.

It would appear that if one does stuff that one is really into, the talking about it and being with it is very easy. If one has been nurtured into the world in a way that doing just what you want to do has always been encouraged, then doing what you want to do is very easy. If the nurturing was dismisive and negative, the doing what you want to do is full of self talk doubts.

Ergo, the making of objects just because you can sits well with those that have always been encouraged and supported in activities undertaken. For those that have had to constantly justify themselves the freedom to suddenly do, presents as many problems as opportunities.

Hence the nature of art as elitist, perhaps. A view from a low point of view would make the art presence fell above. Realistically, anybody can make something, just because they want to. Who has the right to question anybody over why they did and oh it's so poor isn't it. That is of course the right of the viewer, to the observed. Those in negative nurture will be affected by the over questioning, as it will trigger the historical negative nurture feelings. As in the human right act, that everybody has the right to family, why doesn't everybody have the right to make art. Where art is simply something made because you can.

Those in negative nurture will need some positive nurture to even things up. Those beginning in positive nurture will benefit greatly from the extra positive nurture. The really beautiful people will be able to use the extra positive nurture to help those in catch up nurture position.

place space identity-a first look

I've looked at the blogspot for that project this morning-the documentary part of it. I feel quite upset. A huge emotional reaction to it. breakfast now before anyother thoughts.

google

in a vain google attempt to find myself on the web, I was amazed that both versions of my name take google to a page to do with me. I'm quite chuffed about that. I realise now that I've progressed so far that the pages are now really requiring an update.

my first film reveiw - in about 100 words.

Survive Style 5+ (2004)

Having survived my boredom during the last 20 minutes, it did eventually end with something of a reassuring closure. Gen Sekiguchi’s 2004 production of Survive Style 5+ does have a familiar feel to a Tarentino from 1994 and a Ritchie of 1998. If you like films that hand everything on a plate to you, you’ll hate this one. Interesting debates evolve around use of colour and metaphor, and is it perception or perspective. For me, the film sets out several questions, that are more important than is this Sekiguchi’s first feature film. For one, did he make it with a western market in mind?

last day of October 2007

it is the last day of 2007.
WRONG.
It is th e - last day of October 2007.
RIGHT.

Do we need to be told about when we are right and when we are wrong. maybe we know. Maybe we know before the comment is made. Maybe we don't need to hear the comment. Why does a person jump so quickly on what another person has said. Is it judgement. Is it dislike. Is it fear. Is it hit before you get hit.

If in the real world, comments are made in real time and it's all too fierce, why is it in the e - world where step time applies, that so few make a comment, engage, commit to an opinion. What is it, that is "in the way" of making a post ?

post shower period

after asparagus and egg. Beans coffee and tomatoe.

A shower.

Funny how it's a place for thought and cleansing. Thought, if a group of Fine Art students were in an air conditioned room in which the temperature became very warm. Would any of them question why it was so warm and ask for the temperature of the air conditioning to be turned down.

If I were to meet Richard Branson, I would attempt to ask him his thought or opinion about whether he sees a time where commercial business invests and supports projects that produce experience and not profit.

at the end of the week

the sun is still in the sky, happiness and tired contemplation.

Don't want another week like that again. Too unsettling, too depresssional.

Maybe accepting, maybe still working on accepting. When does the personal work finish and the public really rev up.

Questions them all.

Answers to be discovered. How, we will see.

Saturday sleepyness

Saturday sleepyness.
Tea stained mouth.
achy legs,sore finger.

Taverning Cooper
to hot banana chocolate.

why stop there
what's her history
for only 25 pence.

am I calm

I've spoken to Sue.

feeling better.

We spoke about what happened on Monday. Maybe the process through which the group was taken was not as it should have been.

It has helped to talk to some one that is not directly connected with it.

There are afew new marks on the wall. Documentation to follow.

the day after the rep situation was revealed

after lunch. reactor filling the space to my right.

Working through-still, the aftermath of the weekend and the Monday that was quite unsettling. Those concerned know what happened. It has left me in a fragile mental state. Once again the depressive tendancy has been fuelled by my reactions to actions of others.

I still find it dissappointing. I still find in annoying.

What ?

The lack of consideration and thought and respect for human beings for other human beings. How much mental pain need I go through until someone starts to realise what I'm trying to say.

I'm trying to say, "if you decide something that affects someone, tell them before everyone else finds out. It f****** hurts when you find out at the same time as eveyone else. Why does it hurt. It hurts, as it is like hearing a nasty remark about you when you are in the room. The person saying the remark has no positive consideration about the person about whom the remark is said.

Just put yourself in that situation in your own mind.

Do you like how that feels ?